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<i>(WONDERFUL WORLD</i> PLAYING)</i>

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3
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Albert! Albert!

4
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Don't let him get away, Albert.

5
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(WHINING)

6
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:13,040
Hey, boy, hey.

7
00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:16,160
Go away.
Why don't you go play in the water?

8
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:19,200
Go chase the wind. Come on. Go away.
There's not room for both of us.

9
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:20,680
(GROWLING)

10
00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:23,360
Okay, you just stay right where you are.

11
00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:31,800
Come on. Get off the blanket, will you?
I want to lie down.

12
00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:33,800
Hey, lady, is this your horse?

13
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,920
He's a dog, and his name is Albert.

14
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,560
He's interested in new things.

15
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- Well, I'm not a new thing.
- But to Albert you are.

16
00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,760
Do you mind if I sit here a moment
on the sand?

17
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,560
It's not my sand. Sit anywhere you like.

18
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,160
Thank you.

19
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,960
The sand is grainy.

20
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,400
It usually is.

21
00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:57,200
Do you mind if I sit on your blanket?

22
00:03:58,040 --> 00:03:59,480
Help yourself.

23
00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,280
Today, I feel like Alice.

24
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,240
That's nice.

25
00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:10,840
- Yours?
- What?

26
00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:12,840
- Your name.
- Greg Nolan.

27
00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:14,440
- Married?
- Nope.

28
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:16,720
- Want to be?
- Not if I can help it.

29
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I'll bet you're a marvelous lover.

30
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,240
I'm representing the United States
in the Olympics,

31
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:24,560
but I don't think I'll do too well.

32
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,040
Oh? Why not?

33
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:28,440
Mexico City. Too much altitude.

34
00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,640
Would you like to train?

35
00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:33,440
- For the Olympics?
- What else?

36
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,640
You come on pretty strong, don't you?

37
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:39,000
No. Not really.
It's just a theoretical question.

38
00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:43,560
- But answer me.
- Restate the question.

39
00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:46,000
Would you like to make love to me?

40
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:51,160
- In front of Albert?
- Don't you think I'm attractive?

41
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:54,240
- You're too much.
- How do you mean that?

42
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,720
You know, it's very difficult
being a beautiful woman.

43
00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,000
Men just never leave you alone.

44
00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:02,360
You won't believe this, baby,
but I'm leaving you alone.

45
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,160
- Do me a favor.
- What?

46
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,200
Come close to me.

47
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,800
Closer.

48
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(WHINING)

49
00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:20,280
- Well?
- Well, what?

50
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:22,720
Well, did you hear a nightingale?

51
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:26,200
Did the blood dash
against the distant shores of your heart?

52
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:27,400
Nope.

53
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,840
- What did you feel?
- Nothing.

54
00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:30,880
Nothing?

55
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,000
- N-O-T-H...
- Sic him, Albert.

56
00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:34,840
Hold it. Watch it, Albert.

57
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,760
- Down, boy. Call him off!
- Sic him, Albert!

58
00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:41,760
Hey, maybe we should
practice some more.

59
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:43,480
- I'm sure we could work this out.
- Get him, Albert!

60
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:47,280
Hey, get away. Hey, lady.
Hold it, Albert, don't bite.

61
00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:49,880
GREG: Down, boy.

62
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:51,720
Call him off.

63
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(ALBERT BARKING)

64
00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,280
Get him out of here. Hey, wait a minute.

65
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:03,040
Move over this way a little bit, Albert.
I can't see your face.

66
00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:08,000
Smile, Greg, darling.

67
00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:11,480
I'll make you smile
if I ever get my hands on you.

68
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:16,720
Come on, dog. Get back. Hold it, Albert.

69
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:38,240
Come on, let's go home.

70
00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:40,920
Hurry now, or we'll go without you.

71
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(SHIVERING)

72
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:56,960
A person who does not know
when to come out of the water

73
00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,200
should never be allowed in.

74
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:02,560
Come on. Let's go, Albert.

75
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:19,840
Come on in the john,
and we'll get those wet clothes off of you.

76
00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:23,400
Oh, no, we won't.
I can take my own clothes off.

77
00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:26,600
Bring him in here, Albert.

78
00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:31,520
Watch it. Albert.

79
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Thank you, Albert.

80
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That's better.

81
00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:39,680
Greg, you're burning up.

82
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,840
You've got to learn
to take care of yourself.

83
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:46,200
Look, if you really want to help,
go make me a hot buttered rum.

84
00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:49,440
You've got to get out of these wet
clothes, so you won't freeze to death.

85
00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:51,840
If you'll get out of here, I will.

86
00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:53,920
Suit yourself.

87
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Bring me your wet clothes,
and I'll put them in the dryer.

88
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,680
Hurry up. You're dripping on my floor.

89
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,320
GREG: Okay. Okay.

90
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:16,600
Here they are.

91
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:22,160
Here. Put these on.

92
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,600
- Where're you going?
- I'll be back in a minute.

93
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:26,280
Hey.

94
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,720
Nuts. Absolutely nuts.

95
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:45,880
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

96
00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:55,480
Hi, there. Here's your groceries.

97
00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:56,760
- Thanks.
- Where's Suzie?

98
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,920
- Who?
- Suzie.

99
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,720
Who's Suzie?
Are you sure you got the right house?

100
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,200
Yeah, are you?

101
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:08,120
- Say hello to Suzie for me.
- Suzie?

102
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:11,560
Listen, tell her I'll try to get here
just a little earlier next time.

103
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:12,760
(BOTH CLICKING TONGUES)

104
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:17,200
- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.

105
00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:20,000
Smart aleck kid.

106
00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:25,720
Come on.

107
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,120
Albert? Want a roommate?

108
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:36,600
Albert says it's all right
if you sleep on his sofa.

109
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:38,240
Well, that's very nice of him.

110
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:40,960
Hey, look, there was some guy
that walked in here just now.

111
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,360
Greg, you're burning up.
Did you know that?

112
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:46,120
Yeah, and I think I'm seeing things, too.

113
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,280
- Is this yours?
- No.

114
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,760
- Albert's?
- Don't be silly.

115
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:56,280
- Open up.
- What's that?

116
00:09:56,320 --> 00:10:00,480
Fast, fast, incredibly fast relief. Open wide.

117
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:01,760
(CHOKING)

118
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:05,760
That's much better. Now, sit down.

119
00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:07,440
Lie down and try to get some sleep.

120
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:10,000
Yeah, sure, sure.

121
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,280
Don't forget to put the groceries away.

122
00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:15,800
What groceries?

123
00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,520
Forget it.

124
00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:21,640
Good night.

125
00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:24,080
Night, Albert.

126
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,320
(ALBERT SNORING)

127
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,920
Well, and how are we today?

128
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:26,560
Oh, great. Just great.

129
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:27,600
What are you doing down there?

130
00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:29,560
You'd be much more comfortable
on the sofa.

131
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:31,720
I was just thinking the same thing.

132
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,240
Come on.

133
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,320
What day is it?

134
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,400
- Oh, it's only Thursday.
- Thursday?

135
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:39,080
What happened to Monday, Tuesday
and Wednesday?

136
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:40,240
I got to get back to my job.

137
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,680
You're not going anywhere
until you've fully recovered.

138
00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:45,320
Hi, Betty. Hi. Need any eggs today?

139
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,000
Oh, no, thank you. Just some margarine.

140
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,960
Oh, and I left some French toast for you
in on the sink.

141
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,480
Oh, thank you, Betty.
Well, I'll see you Saturday.

142
00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:52,760
BERNICE: Bye.

143
00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,320
- His?
- Don't be ridiculous.

144
00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:58,080
I think you still have a bit of a fever.

145
00:11:58,160 --> 00:11:59,360
(MUMBLING)

146
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:01,120
What'd you say?

147
00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,880
I said, I thought you told me
your name was Alice.

148
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:06,840
Oh, yes. Well, you can call me Mrs. Baby.

149
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:08,040
Mrs. Baby?

150
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:09,600
Now, put that there and don't talk,

151
00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:12,640
and I shall tell you
how I met my husband, Harry Baby,

152
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:16,040
who is unfortunately dead
of an affliction of the liver.

153
00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:20,080
I was driving down Wilshire Boulevard
and Harry was in the left lane.

154
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:23,080
- There he was with his left thing blinking.
- Hmm?

155
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,560
His turning dealie, you know.

156
00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:27,800
Here I had just met
the only man I'd ever love,

157
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:30,240
and he was about to make
a left turn right out of my life.

158
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,600
- So what did I do? What could I do?
- I don't know.

159
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,520
I cut my wheels hard to the left

160
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:39,280
and stepped on the... What do you call it?
You know, the gas dealie,

161
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:42,600
and smashed in his right door.
Quick thinking.

162
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:46,960
And then he fell in love with me,
and we got married,

163
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,560
and he developed whooping cough
and died.

164
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:52,640
Whooping cough? I thought you said
he died of an affliction of the liver.

165
00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:54,880
Well, what's the difference?

166
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,760
- Just as I thought.
- What, what, what?

167
00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,280
98.6!
You better take some more medicine.

168
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:01,800
- But that's normal.
- You wanna die like Harry?

169
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:03,840
- You don't even know what he died of.
- Well, neither did he.

170
00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:06,040
Give me your hand. Now swallow.

171
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,000
Nope. Not until you get me some water.

172
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,200
Okay.

173
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,280
Come on, Albert, don't be a fink.

174
00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:24,760
(GROWLING)

175
00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:27,800
(HUMMING)

176
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,280
I just love watching men in the morning.

177
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:08,680
Do you generally use a straight razor,
or is this how Harry died?

178
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:09,720
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

179
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:11,520
Well, that figures.

180
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,880
Betty, Suzie, Alice,
whatever the hell your name is.

181
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,320
I have different names for different moods.

182
00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:17,920
What mood are you in today?

183
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,960
I haven't decided yet.

184
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,440
Is it all right if I sit down?

185
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:39,680
- Ask Albert.
- Is it okay, Albert?

186
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:41,080
(WHINING)

187
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:43,160
He says it's all right.

188
00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:45,960
Do you mind if I give you a little kiss?

189
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:48,160
Well, what if one of your little friends
came in here and saw us?

190
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:49,760
I locked the front door.

191
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:51,760
All I want is a little huggybear.

192
00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:55,120
- Huggybear?
- Yeah, you relax and I'll hug.

193
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,600
(DOORBELL RINGING)

194
00:14:57,440 --> 00:15:00,920
- I think I hear bells.
- Groovy. That's a good sign.

195
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,200
- Good morning, Bernice.
- Good morning.

196
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,480
Bernice? What the hell is your name?

197
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:09,920
My name is Bernice. Harry, this is Greg.

198
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,880
- Hi, Greg.
- Harry Baby?

199
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,680
- That's me.
- I thought you told me he was dead?

200
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:16,720
Did she also tell you
that I was her husband?

201
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:17,720
Yeah.

202
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:21,080
- I'm not really.
- Well, I'm glad to hear that.

203
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,560
Well, I guess I'm disturbing you.

204
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:25,120
- Oh, Harry, please don't feel that way.
- Why not?

205
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,280
Oh, I just came back to get my shoe trees.

206
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,440
This must be your pipe.

207
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,360
Hey, I was wondering
what happened to that.

208
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:33,120
That's my robe, too. Thanks a million.

209
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:36,720
Well, I guess I'll be cutting out.

210
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,400
- I'll see you to the door...
- What about your shoe trees?

211
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:41,720
What about my shoe trees?

212
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:51,440
- Bye-bye, Greg.
- Bye-bye, Harry.

213
00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:00,640
Well, thank you, Bernice, for letting me
come back and get my things.

214
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,800
Oh, that's perfectly all right, Harry.

215
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:07,040
- I'll try not to bother you again.
- It's always a pleasure to see you.

216
00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:14,720
- Later.
- Bye.

217
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:19,880
Greg, what are you doing?

218
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,360
- 10:00 a.m. Checking out time.
- Don't be ridiculous.

219
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,400
- How did Harry get in here?
- With his key, of course.

220
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:26,120
Oh, how else.

221
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,760
Greg, you really ought to lie down.
You're a very sick person.

222
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:30,360
I'm a very sick person?

223
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,080
Look, maybe we'll see each other again
sometime, huh?

224
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:33,080
Maybe.

225
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,320
Albert, did anybody ever tell you,
you snored?

226
00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:40,440
Don't let him get away.

227
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,040
Oh, no, you don't.

228
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:45,280
(ALBERT WHINING)

229
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,480
- Hi, Greg.
- Hi.

230
00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:58,240
- Where've you been?
- Oh, you wouldn't believe it.

231
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:01,200
Mr. Hamilton left word he wanted
to see you the minute you came in.

232
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,640
- Well, where is the old son of a...
- City editor.

233
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,440
Down checking on something
with the presses.

234
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:08,640
- Okay, thanks, honey. See you later.
- BOTH: Good luck.

235
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:35,760
You're fired.

236
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,440
(INAUDIBLE)

237
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:53,880
Throw him out of here.

238
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,800
(TOY GUN FIRING)

239
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,600
Wait a minute, who are you, kid?

240
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,560
You don't mind if I come in, do you?
I live here.

241
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:53,840
- Ma! Ma!
- Oh, knock it off.

242
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:54,880
Knock it off.

243
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:58,840
WOMAN: Robbie, who are you shooting at,
pussycat? What's the matter?

244
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:03,600
- Excuse me, madam. I just happen to...
- Oh, I... It's perfectly all right.

245
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:07,840
If you'll just follow me
and keep your eyes where they belong.

246
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,080
Come here, sweetheart.

247
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:13,080
Well, this is it.

248
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:15,960
It keeps jumping back into the wall
when you're ironing on it.

249
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,720
And it flops back down
when you want to put it away.

250
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,640
I know, I know. I have that trouble with it.

251
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:24,320
Don't be a funny man, fix it.

252
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:28,160
Look, lady, I didn't come here to fix
an ironing board.

253
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:31,000
So you came here for some other purpose?

254
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:33,160
One of us isn't communicating.

255
00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:34,760
Saw me through the window, is that it?

256
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:37,640
One look at a bare shoulder,
I know your type.

257
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:38,800
This just isn't my day.

258
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:42,760
You take one step closer
and I'll squish your skull like a grape.

259
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:46,840
Robbie, pussycat, run next door
and tell the landlady to call the police.

260
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:50,080
Now, wait a minute. Hold the phone.
This is my house, I live here.

261
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:51,640
Save your breath, Bluebeard.

262
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:54,600
We know how to take care
of sex maniacs like you in this town.

263
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:56,800
- Look, lady.
- What, "Look, lady"?

264
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,680
Don't you run out on me.

265
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:04,640
- Oh, Mr. Nolan. What are you doing here?
- Do you know this vile person?

266
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,560
Well, of course, it's Mr. Nolan.
The former tenant.

267
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:07,640
The present tenant.

268
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:10,200
The former.
Oh, don't worry about it, Mr. Nolan.

269
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:13,880
Your sister took care of everything.
The moving, the back rent, everything.

270
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,760
- My sister?
- Mrs. Baby.

271
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,120
Oh, my sister, Mrs. Baby.

272
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:33,080
- You, out.
- But I haven't finished my French toast.

273
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:35,200
Get a doggy bag from Albert.

274
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,600
- Did you want me to go, Betty?
- Her name is Bernice.

275
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:41,000
It's all right, Truman. Mr. Nolan has
something he wants to tell me.

276
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,760
- Very well. If you say so.
- Out, out.

277
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:46,760
- See you in a couple of days, Betty.
- Her name is Bernice.

278
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:48,440
If you'd listen to somebody
when they tell you something,

279
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:49,800
you would know what her name is.

280
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:50,880
I've told you four times.

281
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:53,520
Why don't you tell him
your name is Bernice?

282
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,320
Oh, Greg, your poor face. What happened?

283
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:57,400
I got fired from my job, I got into a fight,

284
00:21:57,440 --> 00:21:59,280
and now I find out I don't live
in my own home anymore.

285
00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:00,280
Oh, let me...

286
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:01,600
Damn it, Bernice,
what do you want from me?

287
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,160
- Now, where are my things?
- They're in Albert's room.

288
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,160
Except some of your shirts.
I sent them to the laundry.

289
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:07,200
You sent them to the laundry?

290
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:09,280
Who gave you the right to move me out
and pay my back rent?

291
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,360
Look, I don't know what sort of a kick
you're getting out of this,

292
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:12,800
but you're not gonna run my life.

293
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:14,320
Don't walk away from me!

294
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,400
I hate women who walk away
from an argument.

295
00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:21,680
(DOOR LOCKING)

296
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:28,840
That's not gonna do you any good.

297
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:32,160
I'll just wait right here until you come out
and give me an answer.

298
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:35,880
You might as well come out.

299
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:43,440
- What are you doing?
- I'm leaving.

300
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:45,840
I don't want to inflict myself upon you.

301
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:47,080
You may have the house for tonight,

302
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,120
but please don't forget
to give Albert his dinner.

303
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:50,920
Well, where are you gonna go?

304
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,880
I don't know. Where were you gonna go?

305
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:56,000
I hadn't really thought about it.

306
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,560
Look. You don't have to leave.
I can spend the night in Albert's room,

307
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:01,560
and tomorrow I'll go look for a job
and a place to stay.

308
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:03,800
You can stay as long as you want to, Greg.

309
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:05,560
Just for tonight.

310
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:08,720
Now, why don't you take off this coat
and relax?

311
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:12,480
That's a dirty trick.

312
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:14,160
I'm still leaving in the morning.

313
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:21,360
Clean sheets, another blanket,

314
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:25,080
soap, a toothbrush.

315
00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:26,600
- I have a toothbrush.
- I threw it out.

316
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:27,840
Toothpaste.

317
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:29,960
- I have toothpaste.
- It was the wrong brand.

318
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:33,640
Wash cloth, face cloth and a bath towel.

319
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:35,440
Anything else?

320
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:45,840
Breakfast is at 9:00, lunch is at 1:00,
and dinner is whenever I get around to it.

321
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:49,600
Is all this really necessary?
I'm only staying one night.

322
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:52,120
Look, Greg,
I'm running a household, right?

323
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:55,160
What am I supposed to do?
Work my schedule around your whims?

324
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,440
Oh, I wouldn't want you to do that.

325
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,560
What do you want?
Washing the dishes or drying them?

326
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:01,080
I want Albert's job.

327
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:04,200
- Oh, don't be a smart aleck.
- Sorry about that.

328
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:08,600
(DOORBELL RINGING)

329
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,840
- Would you get the door, please?
- Yeah, sure, yeah.

330
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:22,040
Hey, my arms are full.
I think you'll have to open the door.

331
00:24:22,120 --> 00:24:23,560
It's unlocked.

332
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:27,200
I can't make it, pal. My arms are full, too.
You'll have to do it.

333
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:30,200
I said I can't. You open the door.

334
00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:32,080
Coming through.

335
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,200
- Hi, there.
- Hi, there.

336
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,120
Miserable kid.

337
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,160
Who was that at the door?

338
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,840
- Hiya, Suzie, there's your groceries.
- Hi, how are your feet today?

339
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,920
- Oh, a little flatter, thanks.
- Woodrow has fallen arches.

340
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,520
- Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
- Thanks.

341
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,840
I just can't seem to find a job
in my regular line of work.

342
00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:02,200
- What's that?
- Sanitary engineering.

343
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:05,040
- See you later, Suzie.
- Bye, Woodrow.

344
00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:07,120
If you ever happen to run across a job
in my line...

345
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,280
Out, out. Just out.

346
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:13,280
Do you think this has
too much garlic in it?

347
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:15,240
It's terrific.

348
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,600
Good. Albert, your lunch is ready.

349
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:18,680
(GAGGING)

350
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:33,640
Hey, that smells great. What is it?

351
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:37,120
The handle of the coffee pot.
I just burned it.

352
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,240
Well, that's marvelous.

353
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:45,320
Oh, hi. I guess when I moved out,
I forgot my pants-stretchers.

354
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,080
Guess what? It's Harry again.

355
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:49,000
He forgot his pant-stretcher this time.

356
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,720
- Hi, Harry.
- Hi. Hello, Bernice.

357
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:53,920
We were just sitting down to dinner.
Would you like to join us?

358
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,760
Oh, well, I don't know.
Is it okay with you, Greg?

359
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:59,600
Oh, any friend of Bernice's
is a friend of mine.

360
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,280
That looks great. What is it?

361
00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:03,520
- Your favorite.
- Egg rolls and hot dog?

362
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:07,480
- No. Beef and beer stew.
- That's good, too.

363
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:13,440
Hey, look at his face.
You get caught in a revolving door, Greg?

364
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:16,160
- No. It's a gift from my boss.
- Hey, man.

365
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,680
- What kind of work do you do?
- I was a news photographer.

366
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:20,400
- What do you mean "was"?
- I got fired today.

367
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:22,480
Yeah, but he's getting another job
tomorrow. Isn't that right?

368
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,120
Oh, that's right. That's right.

369
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:29,640
Get a job with one
of those advertising agencies.

370
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:30,880
Now, that's the life.

371
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,880
- What makes them so special?
- Are you kidding me?

372
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:38,040
Why, it's out of sight.
Well, easy work, fantastic pay,

373
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:41,520
and an office full of the most
stupendous chicks you have ever seen.

374
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:45,840
- I mean, really stacked.
- What would everyone like to drink, Harry?

375
00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:48,440
- Milk.
- Milk coming up.

376
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,800
Albert? Woof it shall be.

377
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:52,640
- Greg?
- What do you have?

378
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,440
Coffee, tea, milk and woof.

379
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:55,960
- Coffee with.
- With what?

380
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:57,120
With a side order of woof.

381
00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:59,520
Oh, you're so clever. Isn't he clever, Harry?

382
00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:02,320
- Yeah, you know, you're a very...
- Don't say it. Don't say it.

383
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:05,720
Albert, have you got anything to say?
She's getting it.

384
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:12,560
I think we can call this one a reject.

385
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:18,160
You've got quite a handy little deal
going here, haven't you, Harry?

386
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:19,800
You mean Bernice?

387
00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:23,200
Look, I'm trying my best to stay away.
It's just not that easy.

388
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:24,640
Yeah, I noticed.

389
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:26,440
She doesn't love me.
She's just being kind to me.

390
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:30,000
- Oh, that's big of her.
- You don't know her, Greg. She's scared.

391
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,760
- Scared to death.
- Scared of what?

392
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:36,840
Of life, being alone, love...

393
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:39,720
You've got to be kidding, man.

394
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:41,920
No, it's true.

395
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,320
Making love never quite works for her.

396
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,640
She always stops short.

397
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:50,520
I think she's hoping
to find the man who can

398
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:52,960
bring her the right kind of love.

399
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:56,680
But, in the meantime, she's going to
destroy every guy she meets.

400
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:58,560
I'll tell you one thing.

401
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:00,920
I'm going to stay away, for my own sake.

402
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:03,120
And I don't suppose you'd take any advice
in a case like this.

403
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:07,120
- Probably not. What is it?
- Run for the hills.

404
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:08,280
First thing in the morning, pal.

405
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:11,480
(SNORING)

406
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:15,960
<i>BERNICE: Time to go home, Greg:</i></i>

407
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:21,880
<i>Hurry: Hurry: Hurry: Hurry:</i></i>

408
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:23,960
<i>GREG: I'm leaving in the morning:</i></i>

409
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:29,400
<i>BERNICE: Stay as long as you want:</i>
Hurry: Hurry: Hurry: Hurry:</i></i>

410
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:38,840
Wake up, Greg.
It's time to head for the hills.

411
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:40,320
You can't talk. You're a dog.

412
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:42,560
Now, don't be difficult, Greg.
I'm just trying to help.

413
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:44,240
Here, take my paw.

414
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:53,000
I don't see...

415
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:58,080
<i>BERNICE: Come back, Greg: Come back:</i></i>

416
00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:00,560
<i>GREG: I'm leaving: I'm leaving:</i></i>

417
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:02,920
<i>BERNICE:</i>
Would you like to make love to me?</i></i>

418
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,240
<i>HARRY: Run for the hills:</i></i>

419
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:07,560
<i>Run for the hills:</i></i>

420
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:13,240
<i>Run for the hills:</i></i>

421
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:25,360
Bernice!

422
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:27,520
- My name's Alice.
- Alice?

423
00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:31,320
- Her name's Suzie.
- Suzie?

424
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:35,520
- This is Betty.
- Betty?

425
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:37,880
What is your name?

426
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:39,360
Her name's Bernice.

427
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:44,320
I'd get out of here if I was you.

428
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:47,840
(ALL CHATTERING)

429
00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:03,520
<i>(SINGING EDGE OF REALITY)</i></i>

430
00:32:57,960 --> 00:32:59,360
(SNORING)

431
00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:07,640
"Art gallery. Beauty salon.
Chemical research.

432
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:11,160
"Creative Advertising,
Radlin, Kernig, Canford and Penlow.

433
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:12,640
"Twenty-first floor."

434
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:51,160
- May I help you?
- Aren't you cold?

435
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:55,120
Only from 9:00 to 5:00.
Whom did you wish to see?

436
00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:56,960
The editor. Is he in?

437
00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,480
Do you have an appointment?

438
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:02,440
Appointment?
Why, no, but I believe I'm expected.

439
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:07,000
- What is the name, please?
- Just say Nolan is here with the truth.

440
00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:09,440
"Nolan is here with the truth"?

441
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:12,280
That's right. Just tell him that. He'll know.

442
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:19,400
Mr. Landsdown,

443
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:22,320
Nolan is here with the truth.

444
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:26,200
- Speak up, baby.
- I said, Nolan is here with the truth.

445
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:31,040
Yes, sir.

446
00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:34,840
Mr. Landsdown will see you.

447
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,080
Running a magazine of this magnitude

448
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:40,120
requires me to be mentally alert
at all times.

449
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:43,800
Massage keeps the blood circulating,
blood goes to the brain.

450
00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:45,320
Alert.

451
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:48,920
I also find
I have very little time to waste, Nolan.

452
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:51,080
So, what is the truth?

453
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:54,280
- Mr. Landsdown.
- Call me Mike, hate formalities.

454
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:56,840
Mike, the truth is I need a job.

455
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:04,160
(ALL LAUGHING)

456
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:09,720
What makes you think there's a job here?

457
00:35:10,720 --> 00:35:12,480
I don't know. Is there?

458
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:14,600
- No.
- Well, goodbye.

459
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:17,000
Where are you going? Come in here!

460
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:24,120
Shut the door.

461
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:27,440
Over here, over here.

462
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:30,160
Sit down.

463
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:36,840
- Do you like girls?
- Love 'em. Do you?

464
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:39,240
I asked that for a very good reason.

465
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:41,880
- What do you do?
- What do you need?

466
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,080
- Don't be rude.
- I'm a photographer.

467
00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:46,840
Well. Truth is beauty.

468
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:48,480
And the highest expression of beauty

469
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:50,960
is the relationship between
a man and a woman.

470
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:53,720
It is to the glorification of this relationship

471
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:55,880
that Landsdown Enterprises is dedicated.

472
00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:57,400
I'm with you.

473
00:35:57,480 --> 00:35:58,760
You any good?

474
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:00,920
- As a lover?
- As a photographer!

475
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:03,080
- That I am.
- Let me see.

476
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:09,720
Fuzzy.

477
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:12,960
Soft focus.

478
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:15,400
I think it's the steam.
The pictures are melting.

479
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:16,920
Yeah, but they're all dressed.

480
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,200
People don't wanna see women
with clothes on.

481
00:36:19,240 --> 00:36:21,240
I wish I moved in your circles.

482
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:24,760
I don't think we see eye to eye, Nolan.

483
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:26,680
No, I don't think so, either.

484
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:34,000
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Where are you going?

485
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:36,760
We haven't finished yet.
Come on over here.

486
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,960
Here, try a wheat germ and clam juice
cocktail. It's good for the liver.

487
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:44,880
I think I know what you're looking for.

488
00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:47,960
How about these shots?

489
00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:52,080
Yeah. That's better.

490
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:55,120
Much better.

491
00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:59,400
Yeah, that's much, much better.

492
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:03,800
- Still want to work here?
- I thought you said there was no job.

493
00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:05,520
Changed my mind.
How much are you asking?

494
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:08,360
- A thousand a month.
- All right, we'll try it for a couple of weeks,

495
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:09,920
and see what we'll see.

496
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:13,080
You start tomorrow. 9:00 sharp.
If you're late, you're fired.

497
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:14,680
And get rid of that suit.

498
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:18,800
I can't stand to see men wearing ties.
It's bad for the circulation.

499
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:22,080
And always remember, bottoms up.

500
00:37:36,720 --> 00:37:38,760
Sorry I'm late. I got off on the wrong floor.

501
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:42,840
Welcome to Radlin, Kernig,
Canford and Penlow.

502
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:44,440
Whom do you wish to see?

503
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:47,840
- Radlin.
- I'm sorry, Mr. Radlin is not in at present.

504
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:49,920
Is there someone else who can help you?

505
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:53,280
- Kernig.
- I'm sorry, Mr. Kernig is not in at present.

506
00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:55,440
Is there someone else who can help you?

507
00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:56,960
Canford.

508
00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:01,960
I'm sorry, Mr. Canford died two years ago.
Is there someone else who can help you?

509
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:03,640
Who else is there?

510
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:06,400
- Would you like to speak with Mr. Penlow?
- Is he in?

511
00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:08,680
- Yes.
- Good, I'll speak with Mr. Penlow.

512
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:11,720
I'm sorry, Mr. Penlow is in conference.

513
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:14,680
- Tell Penlow I wish to speak to him.
- I'm sorry, Mr. Penlow is in conference.

514
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:16,160
Tell him!

515
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:21,000
- Very well, do you have an appointment?
- Tell him!

516
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:26,520
- Whom shall I say is calling?
- Tell him Nolan is here with the truth.

517
00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:28,200
Very well.

518
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:34,640
Mr. Penlow, a Mr. Nolan says
he is here with the truth.

519
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:38,360
Nolan. Truth.

520
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:43,160
Yes, Mr. Penlow.

521
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:46,880
It's the second door on the right.

522
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:50,240
Personal appearance is a virtue
not to be treated lightly.

523
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:53,440
I take great stock in the cut
of a man's clothes.

524
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:58,080
As Benjamin Franklin so aptly put it,
"Eat to please thyself, but dress

525
00:38:58,160 --> 00:38:59,280
"to please others."

526
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:01,120
Oh, I'm sure if your secretary
came in right now,

527
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:03,480
my appearance
wouldn't exactly please her.

528
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:05,240
Hey, I wonder if I could have
my trousers, please?

529
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:06,520
When they are ready.

530
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:10,440
"Constant complaint is the poorest
sort of pay for all the comforts we enjoy."

531
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:12,800
- Also Benjamin Franklin.
- Oh, good old Ben.

532
00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:15,640
Receptionist said that you're here
with the truth.

533
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:16,760
That's right.

534
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:19,600
Good, good. There's precious little left of it
in this business. God knows.

535
00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:21,240
How right you are.

536
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:23,600
The truth is, I need a job.

537
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:27,360
Thank you. I said, the truth is, I need a job.

538
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:29,800
I heard you, I heard you.
I'm not deaf, you know.

539
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:31,600
I'm sorry.

540
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:33,760
The truth is, he needs a job.

541
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:36,320
My boy, you're a natural-born
attention-getter.

542
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:39,440
And what is advertising?
The art of attracting attention.

543
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:40,880
Exactly my feelings.

544
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:43,600
- What are you, a copywriter?
- No, I'm a photographer.

545
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:45,880
A photographer. Well, well.

546
00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:48,240
- It's an honest profession.
- Lf you're good.

547
00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:50,480
Let's see if you're good.

548
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:55,480
The secret of good photography
is not to be fooled by what you see.

549
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:59,520
And get to know your subjects, find
the truth in them and photograph that.

550
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:02,080
Very impressive. I like your style.

551
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:05,000
- How much money do you need?
- A thousand a month to start.

552
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:07,480
- With a substantial raise in six months.
- Fair enough, fair enough.

553
00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:10,640
Also all fringe benefits,
including use of the company parking lot.

554
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:12,480
Assuming you're still here in six months.

555
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:14,760
You can start tomorrow at 9:00 or 9:30.

556
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:17,720
I expect my people
to be impeccably dressed at all times.

557
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:19,040
Keep that in mind.

558
00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:20,640
While you're here,
take a look at the darkroom.

559
00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:24,480
See if there's anything you need.
My receptionist will show you where it is.

560
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:29,240
The door to the service stairway
is over there.

561
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:31,840
- What door?
- Behind the boxes.

562
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:34,840
I'll have this darkroom cleared out for you.

563
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:37,320
- Thank you.
- Excuse me.

564
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:38,360
Yeah.

565
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:53,600
(PHONE RINGING)

566
00:41:03,240 --> 00:41:05,600
You have reached a disconnected number.

567
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:09,320
Please hang up and dial again.
This is a recording.

568
00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:10,760
This is a recording, too.

569
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:13,400
I was calling to invite you out
to dinner, but never mind.

570
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:15,240
Greg, wait a minute. Is that you?

571
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:17,520
Yes. I got a job.
As a matter of fact, I got two.

572
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:18,880
One for you and one for me.

573
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:20,360
- I don't understand.
- It's simple.

574
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:23,200
The second job is to pay you back
the money you put up for my back rent.

575
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:25,400
Oh, you're too much.

576
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:28,360
Look, I'll be over about 5:00, pick up
my things, and we'll go out and celebrate.

577
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:30,120
Okay, I'll be ready.

578
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:49,680
(DOORBELL RINGING)

579
00:41:58,400 --> 00:42:01,520
I wish she'd stop putting garlic
in your food.

580
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:05,560
"Dear Greg. Had to run an errand.

581
00:42:05,720 --> 00:42:08,600
"Meet me at 211 Lookout Mountain Drive."

582
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:14,880
Okay, Albert, get out.
I didn't invite you to dinner.

583
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:15,960
(GROWLING)

584
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:17,480
What are you doing for dinner, Albert?

585
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:03,440
Hi, Albert. Hello, darling. Welcome home.

586
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:06,800
What have you got going, now?

587
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:10,880
Why, nothing. I merely found you
a place to stay. You said you wanted one.

588
00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:13,600
And it's a lovely one-bedroom house.

589
00:43:13,720 --> 00:43:15,320
You're kidding.

590
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:19,480
How did you find it?

591
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:21,880
The landlady is a friend of Harry's.
She lives down the street.

592
00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:23,360
She conducts s�ances or something.

593
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:25,720
I suppose she sends one of her ghosts
around to collect the rent.

594
00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:27,880
I told her you'd pay
the first and last month, next week.

595
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:30,520
- Oh, gee, thanks, kid.
- Happy housewarming, Greg.

596
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:31,600
(EX CLAIMS)

597
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:34,280
- I should have known you'd be here.
- Oh, now, don't be nasty.

598
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:36,120
Harry brought the champagne
and the dinner.

599
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:38,560
Yeah, egg rolls and hot dogs.
You'll love 'em.

600
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:40,720
Here it goes. Stand back.

601
00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:43,520
They told me it was a good year.

602
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:44,760
I thought I was taking you
to dinner tonight.

603
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:45,920
Oh, but isn't this nicer?

604
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:49,280
Your first night in your new home
with good company and good food.

605
00:43:49,360 --> 00:43:51,680
Yeah, sit down, Greg. Champagne?

606
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:54,000
I'm not thirsty.

607
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:56,160
More for us, huh, Bernice?

608
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:03,280
Not bad. To us.
A long and lasting friendship.

609
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:18,040
Well, I guess I'll be going.

610
00:44:18,120 --> 00:44:20,280
- Are you sure you won't stay?
- He's sure.

611
00:44:20,480 --> 00:44:23,200
Thank Harry for the champagne
and the dinner.

612
00:44:23,720 --> 00:44:26,680
May I say, I never liked egg rolls
and hot dogs before,

613
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:28,760
but now I hate them.

614
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:30,480
I'm glad, Greg.

615
00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:33,480
- Good night, Bernice.
- Good night.

616
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:35,240
Rots of ruck in your new pad, Greg.

617
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:38,200
- I'd like to rots of ruck you...
- Good night, Harry. Good night, Harry.

618
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:44,080
I don't believe it. We're finally alone.

619
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:47,320
I guess I should thank you
for finding this place for me.

620
00:44:47,520 --> 00:44:48,840
I was afraid you didn't like it.

621
00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:51,680
Oh, I like it. I'm just not used
to having a house picked out for me.

622
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:53,160
Oh, I'm sorry.

623
00:44:53,240 --> 00:44:56,280
I was only trying to help,
but I guess I did something wrong again.

624
00:44:56,960 --> 00:44:59,720
- I forgot Bernice.
- That's all right. I'll drive her home.

625
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:01,600
Oh, no, no. Always leave the party
with the girl I brung.

626
00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:03,240
- Old rule of mine.
- I said I'd take her home.

627
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:07,000
It's all right, darling. I'd hate to have
you drive clear to the beach and back.

628
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:09,040
Nighty-night.

629
00:45:10,400 --> 00:45:14,080
Come on, Albert. Come on.

630
00:45:22,720 --> 00:45:23,880
Bernice!

631
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:26,320
How long do you think
this ridiculous situation can continue?

632
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:29,000
Well, I don't think it's ridiculous.
I think it's civilized.

633
00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:31,760
Civilized? It'd be civilized
if we called the whole thing off.

634
00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:33,800
You so much as try
and call the whole thing off,

635
00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:36,400
and I shall feed you, personally,
to my large dog for breakfast.

636
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:38,680
And that's a solemn promise.

637
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:40,640
Bernice, it's late.

638
00:45:40,720 --> 00:45:42,200
Good night. Sleep tight.

639
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:55,360
(HONKING)

640
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:06,240
Okay, turn the fans on. This one, too.

641
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:09,880
That's it. Not too much.

642
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:12,040
Okay, start the snow.

643
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:17,280
That's it. No more than that.
Let's go to work, honey.

644
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:18,520
Okay.

645
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:20,960
All right. Right here. There you go.

646
00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:23,320
There you go, come on back over here.

647
00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:27,600
Don't be so serious. Good.

648
00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:29,320
Okay, raise the skirt.

649
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:31,960
Little more.

650
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:36,040
Hey, wait a minute! Somebody help Heidi!

651
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:39,520
You're ruining the set!
Turn that fan off! Help her out!

652
00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:45,400
Let's get this place cleaned up. Take 10.

653
00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:16,640
What's the matter?
You got a thing about elevators?

654
00:47:16,720 --> 00:47:18,440
Yeah, they're too slow. Too slow.

655
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:23,080
- Sorry I'm late.
- Oh, good morning, Greg. Good morning.

656
00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:25,040
- Good morning, Greg.
- It looks good. Looks good.

657
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:29,360
It represents a subjective concept
dealing with the metaphysical approach...

658
00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:32,080
Right. Right.
Work it through for me, baby, will you?

659
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:44,560
Just relax about 10 minutes.

660
00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:14,840
The artwork is on that Samoan story.

661
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:19,240
Oh, and get a hold of Mary, in legal,
and see if they've received the...

662
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:30,240
Follow the eye.

663
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:34,840
Okay. Let's try the skirt again.
Around this way.

664
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:38,800
That's good. Over here.

665
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:13,360
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

666
00:49:14,240 --> 00:49:15,680
Just a minute.

667
00:49:22,240 --> 00:49:23,680
Come on in.

668
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:29,440
You're really a dynamo, aren't you?

669
00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:32,400
Oh, I just wanted to get these shots
developed and run some tests.

670
00:49:32,480 --> 00:49:36,440
It's 6:00.
I wouldn't work past 8:00, if I were you.

671
00:49:37,080 --> 00:49:38,760
A man needs his rest, you know.

672
00:49:38,880 --> 00:49:40,600
You got a point there.

673
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:48,760
When you finish those contracts,
you may leave.

674
00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:50,400
I admire incentive in a man,

675
00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:53,280
but I don't require my people
to stay till all hours of the night.

676
00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:55,480
I was hoping to finish
that perfume layout for you.

677
00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:57,120
Plenty of time tomorrow.

678
00:49:57,600 --> 00:50:00,320
- You look tired, my boy.
- You don't know the half of it.

679
00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:01,920
Just a moment.

680
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:22,960
Oh, hiya, Greg.
Bernice and I were just talking about you.

681
00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:24,440
I thought we had a date tonight.

682
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:25,880
Well, that's what
we were just talking about.

683
00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:28,160
Hey, listen, I'll put these flowers
in some water and fix you a drink.

684
00:50:28,240 --> 00:50:30,560
- What do you say?
- I'll tell you what I say.

685
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:35,200
Greg, please don't go. I can explain.

686
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:41,080
Excellent. Just excellent.

687
00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:43,040
There's a couple of pretty good
shots there.

688
00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:44,480
"Pretty good"?

689
00:50:44,520 --> 00:50:48,000
You're out of your cotton-pickin' mind.
They're excellent. Just what we needed.

690
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:51,960
- Something bothering you?
- No, just a little personal problem.

691
00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:54,720
Well, let's have none of that.
You want to make it in advertising, right?

692
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:55,840
Right.

693
00:50:55,920 --> 00:50:58,040
Then you have to rise above
personal problems.

694
00:50:58,120 --> 00:51:00,280
Personal appearance, that's the secret.

695
00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:04,200
Where you live, what you drive,
where you drink, what you drink.

696
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:08,400
Who makes your clothes, who styles
your hair, who shrinks your head.

697
00:51:08,720 --> 00:51:10,840
Who shrinks my head? Nobody.

698
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:12,760
You mean you're not in analysis?

699
00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:15,840
No, but I'm beginning
to get your message.

700
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:17,200
Good.

701
00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:19,840
How about giving me
a six months' advance on my salary?

702
00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:22,960
A six months' advance on your salary?

703
00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:25,680
This turnip and tiger's milk cocktail
is delicious.

704
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:30,160
Now, Greg, I am not an unreasonable man.
Do you think I'm an unreasonable man?

705
00:51:30,240 --> 00:51:31,920
No, Mike, you're not unreasonable.

706
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:34,960
Well, as a matter of fact,
I'm quite a reasonable man.

707
00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:38,960
But when a man comes to me
and tells me he needs six months' salary

708
00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:41,200
in advance, I say, "All right."

709
00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:44,200
I say, "Give that man
his six months' salary in advance."

710
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:47,520
There's no question about it, Mike.
You are a reasonable man.

711
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:14,880
(BERNICE CRYING)

712
00:52:21,920 --> 00:52:23,240
Give me the key, Bernice.

713
00:52:23,320 --> 00:52:25,440
Mention Albert too, or he gets Ionely.

714
00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:27,560
I know you had a key made.
Now give it to me.

715
00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:28,840
Mention him, too.

716
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:32,040
Oh, for Pete's sakes. Hello, Albert.
Gimme the key.

717
00:52:34,920 --> 00:52:37,280
I'm sure you have a dandy reason
for being here.

718
00:52:37,800 --> 00:52:40,160
Harry put his house up for sale.

719
00:52:40,320 --> 00:52:41,480
"His house"?

720
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:45,120
He said if he sold it, he wouldn't
have an excuse to see me anymore.

721
00:52:45,160 --> 00:52:46,640
Maybe I knocked some sense
into his head.

722
00:52:46,720 --> 00:52:49,120
No, but you knocked
the cap off his front tooth.

723
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:50,360
Well, I'm sorry about that.

724
00:52:50,400 --> 00:52:52,960
But you can't stay here.
I'm not getting involved with you again.

725
00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:56,480
Oh, we have no one else to turn to.

726
00:52:56,760 --> 00:53:00,000
We're alone,
abandoned in an unfriendly city.

727
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:04,160
Albert and I have come to you
for protection, nothing more.

728
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:06,640
Don't you believe that?

729
00:53:06,720 --> 00:53:10,280
No, I don't.
You're not gonna trick me again.

730
00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:14,600
Get yourself an apartment.
Put Albert in a kennel.

731
00:53:14,720 --> 00:53:16,120
(WHIMPERING)

732
00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:17,600
Oh, shut up, Albert.

733
00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:20,120
Volunteer to be the first woman
on the moon, I don't care.

734
00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:22,680
But you're not gonna mess up my life.

735
00:53:22,720 --> 00:53:24,880
How can you throw us out like this?

736
00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:29,880
It's easy, I'll show you.
Just give you your bags. Albert, out.

737
00:53:35,400 --> 00:53:36,920
How'd you get here?

738
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:39,320
I borrowed Harry's car.
It's down around the corner.

739
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:40,920
Well, what was he gonna do?
Come pick it up

740
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:43,360
so we could all have a nice reunion?

741
00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:54,560
Ladies first, Albert, you should know that.

742
00:53:58,920 --> 00:54:02,440
Here's the money for the back rent.
Drive carefully.

743
00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:06,080
It's been a gas, kid.

744
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:11,560
- Say goodbye to Albert.
- So long, Al babe.

745
00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:13,280
(ALBERT WHINING)

746
00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:20,840
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

747
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:40,720
- Are you ready for that?
- Are you kidding me?

748
00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:48,720
- Hey, Greg, glad you could make it.
- Thanks for inviting me.

749
00:54:48,800 --> 00:54:51,120
Find yourself a girl.
Find two or three. Find five.

750
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:52,480
Well, there sure are a lot of 'em around.

751
00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:55,360
I always invite five girls to one man.
Matter of principle.

752
00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:56,880
Kind of hard on the girls, isn't it?

753
00:54:56,960 --> 00:55:00,240
Listen, Greg, this is a man's world,
and I'm gonna keep it that way,

754
00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:02,640
because that's the way
the birds like to nest.

755
00:55:02,720 --> 00:55:04,120
What's the gadget, Mike?

756
00:55:04,240 --> 00:55:06,600
Looks impressive, doesn't it?
That's my Nothing Box.

757
00:55:06,680 --> 00:55:07,720
"Nothing Box"?

758
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:10,800
Yeah, does absolutely nothing,
but it's a great conversation piece.

759
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:12,520
(BEEPING)

760
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:15,160
- I'm gonna look around.
- Have fun.

761
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:24,720
Albert said to say, "Hi."

762
00:55:24,800 --> 00:55:25,880
Who invited you here?

763
00:55:25,960 --> 00:55:29,560
Well, a good-Iooking girl is always
welcome at one of these midnight brawls.

764
00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:31,320
How did you know about the party?

765
00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:33,560
Being a good-Iooking girl, I followed you.

766
00:55:33,600 --> 00:55:34,880
Look, what does it take
to get through to you?

767
00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:37,800
We have nothing in common.
We never did, we never will.

768
00:55:37,880 --> 00:55:41,600
Greg, how can you be so controvertible?

769
00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:43,080
Controvertible?

770
00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:11,960
That wouldn't be a screwdriver
you have there, would it?

771
00:56:12,080 --> 00:56:14,320
Why, yes. It is.

772
00:56:15,360 --> 00:56:18,080
I've heard so much about 'em,
but I've never tasted one. May I?

773
00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:19,880
Be my guest.

774
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:25,120
- They put too much vodka in for my taste.
- They did?

775
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:27,880
Oh, I mean, yes. They did.

776
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:29,880
We have a lot in common.

777
00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:31,160
Yes.

778
00:56:32,440 --> 00:56:34,120
What month were you born?

779
00:56:34,240 --> 00:56:37,240
- December.
- Sagittarius.

780
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:40,560
We're not suited. It would never work out.

781
00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:43,280
Let's see if we can't
double-cross the stars.

782
00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:45,000
What's your name?

783
00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:46,200
Ellen.

784
00:56:48,920 --> 00:56:51,440
- What was that for?
- Oh, just testing.

785
00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:53,400
One test doesn't prove anything.

786
00:56:58,080 --> 00:57:00,120
You don't taste bad for a Sagittarius.

787
00:57:00,160 --> 00:57:01,960
Let's cut out of here, Ellen.

788
00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:04,360
You can't fool around with the planets.

789
00:57:04,440 --> 00:57:07,400
I know something much more reliable
than the planets.

790
00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:09,320
There just isn't anything.

791
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:11,160
You wait right here, I'll be back.

792
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:17,600
- Can I get a picture? Just one.
- Not right now, thank you.

793
00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:23,320
Great shot with that thing, hold it!

794
00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:24,920
- Oh, thank you.
- Yeah.

795
00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:46,680
This computer will prove to you
that the planets are wrong.

796
00:57:47,520 --> 00:57:48,800
Well, it's just making a lot of sound.

797
00:57:48,880 --> 00:57:50,720
Yeah, but you have to understand
what it's saying.

798
00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:54,200
- Do you know what it's saying?
- Of course I know what it's saying.

799
00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:59,640
<i>(SINGING A LITTLE LESS CONVERSA TION)</i></i>

800
00:59:32,960 --> 00:59:35,000
- Is this where you live?
- Yep.

801
00:59:35,760 --> 00:59:37,400
It's lovely.

802
00:59:38,080 --> 00:59:39,840
Such a romantic view.

803
00:59:47,040 --> 00:59:49,400
You don't waste much time, do you?

804
00:59:51,440 --> 00:59:54,520
- Good evening, Mr. Nolan.
- Good evening.

805
00:59:54,720 --> 00:59:56,920
My goodness, you're home late tonight.

806
00:59:59,040 --> 01:00:02,440
- Who is that woman?
- That woman? She's my...

807
01:00:02,520 --> 01:00:04,400
- Housekeeper.
- Housekeeper.

808
01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:06,240
She vacuums at this time of the morning?

809
01:00:06,320 --> 01:00:08,680
Oh, it's the only free time I have.

810
01:00:08,760 --> 01:00:11,440
- How many keys did you have made?
- Enough.

811
01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:16,280
Mr. Nolan, I must remind you,
I only work in respectable houses,

812
01:00:16,320 --> 01:00:19,040
and it looks to me like
there's a little hanky-panky going on here.

813
01:00:19,120 --> 01:00:21,920
Well, if you feel that way about it,
why don't you leave? Now.

814
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:25,560
Oh, no, never put off until tomorrow
what you can do today. Right?

815
01:00:25,640 --> 01:00:27,040
Excuse me.

816
01:00:27,120 --> 01:00:30,040
Greg, I've gotta go home, really.
It's late, and I've got to work tomorrow.

817
01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:31,880
Oh, why don't we talk this over, in there?

818
01:00:31,960 --> 01:00:33,560
Albert's in there.

819
01:00:33,600 --> 01:00:35,480
- Who's Albert?
- My dog.

820
01:00:35,600 --> 01:00:36,640
(ALBERT GROWLING)

821
01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:41,120
Would you drive me home?

822
01:00:44,000 --> 01:00:45,880
Why not? Let's go to your place.

823
01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:50,840
And you, you'd better be gone
by the time I get back.

824
01:00:56,160 --> 01:00:57,640
(CRASHING)

825
01:00:59,800 --> 01:01:01,840
Well, you'll have to see what happened.

826
01:01:02,720 --> 01:01:05,240
I got a feeling I'm going to be sorry!

827
01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:08,640
Oh, my goodness!

828
01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:16,960
- I'll call a doctor.
- And get me a cab.

829
01:01:18,240 --> 01:01:19,200
(GROANING)

830
01:01:24,160 --> 01:01:25,320
Well, Doctor?

831
01:01:25,520 --> 01:01:29,200
I can't find anything but the bump
on her head where she hit the table.

832
01:01:29,440 --> 01:01:30,880
(MUMBLING)

833
01:01:31,160 --> 01:01:32,240
What'd she say?

834
01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:34,560
Try to keep her quiet for a few days.

835
01:01:34,640 --> 01:01:37,560
When she's able to get up, you might
bring her by the office for an x-ray.

836
01:01:37,880 --> 01:01:40,520
Thanks a lot, Doctor.
Sorry to call you so late.

837
01:01:40,800 --> 01:01:44,600
Don't you worry about it.
I'll bill you for it. Good night.

838
01:01:44,680 --> 01:01:46,040
Good night.

839
01:02:00,560 --> 01:02:02,120
(GROANING)

840
01:02:39,320 --> 01:02:40,560
(WHINING)

841
01:02:40,640 --> 01:02:44,200
If you think I'm going to take you out
for a walk now, you're nuts.

842
01:02:51,640 --> 01:02:53,160
Okay. Let's just walk away from it.

843
01:02:53,280 --> 01:02:55,240
(STUTTERING) But wait, now wait.
You just don't understand.

844
01:02:55,320 --> 01:02:57,160
- Now, you let me...
- Don't worry about it. It looks good.

845
01:02:57,280 --> 01:02:59,040
Unless the material is draped

846
01:02:59,120 --> 01:03:01,920
in symmetrical harmony
with the hypotenuse of the models...

847
01:03:01,960 --> 01:03:03,000
GREG: Right. Right.

848
01:03:03,080 --> 01:03:04,960
- Let's get this one shot and go home.
- Now, now just a minute!

849
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:07,440
- You just wait just a minute, here.
- Hit the lights.

850
01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:10,680
- Pretty. Pretty.
- But you don't understand.

851
01:03:10,760 --> 01:03:14,080
I am trying to develop
an intrinsic multilateral symmetry

852
01:03:14,160 --> 01:03:16,680
between animate and inanimate objects.

853
01:03:17,040 --> 01:03:18,000
No, no.

854
01:03:18,080 --> 01:03:21,200
Think of all the time that I've spent
shopping, shopping, shopping...

855
01:03:21,280 --> 01:03:23,000
- Okay, girls. Here we go.
...for all the material.

856
01:03:23,040 --> 01:03:25,440
- Hold still.
- All those panels must fit the...

857
01:03:25,480 --> 01:03:28,320
Greg, will you get some
individual shots of the girls, please?

858
01:03:28,840 --> 01:03:31,600
- Yes, sir.
- That's a very good idea, Mr. Penlow.

859
01:03:31,800 --> 01:03:33,080
Thank you.

860
01:03:51,200 --> 01:03:53,640
Good night, Mr. Penlow.
Have a pleasant evening.

861
01:04:02,880 --> 01:04:04,120
Goodbye, baby.

862
01:04:06,520 --> 01:04:07,720
Hi, there.

863
01:04:07,800 --> 01:04:10,320
Glad to see you're leaving
at a decent hour, my boy.

864
01:04:10,400 --> 01:04:12,120
- Hi, Greg.
- You know, Pat here looked great

865
01:04:12,160 --> 01:04:13,240
in those outfits, Mr. Penlow.

866
01:04:13,320 --> 01:04:15,160
I know. I know.

867
01:04:17,880 --> 01:04:19,440
Hello, Landsdown.

868
01:04:19,920 --> 01:04:21,400
Hi, Mike.

869
01:04:21,880 --> 01:04:23,320
You two know each other?

870
01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:25,480
As a matter of fact, Lewis, we do.

871
01:04:32,600 --> 01:04:34,160
Good night, Greg.

872
01:04:39,360 --> 01:04:41,320
Wait a minute.
What do you think you're doing?

873
01:04:41,400 --> 01:04:44,480
I haven't finished reading this part, yet.
Thank you.

874
01:05:06,320 --> 01:05:08,760
- Don't hit me.
- I'm not going to hit you.

875
01:05:08,840 --> 01:05:11,000
- I had a reason to be here.
- I bet it's a good one.

876
01:05:11,160 --> 01:05:13,080
Well, she borrowed my car.
I had to come and get it.

877
01:05:13,120 --> 01:05:16,080
That's a good one. Say, Harry,
I hear you're selling your house.

878
01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:18,440
Well, I tried to, but I just couldn't.

879
01:05:18,920 --> 01:05:20,800
That house holds a lot of memories.

880
01:05:21,120 --> 01:05:23,120
After she left me, I was Ionely.

881
01:05:23,200 --> 01:05:24,560
She left you?

882
01:05:24,640 --> 01:05:28,120
Well, she moved out.
Said she didn't want to see me again.

883
01:05:28,320 --> 01:05:29,800
Stick with it, Harry. You can do it.

884
01:05:29,880 --> 01:05:32,000
I know I can do it if I try.

885
01:05:33,080 --> 01:05:34,760
Well, so long, Greg.

886
01:05:34,840 --> 01:05:37,120
- Yeah. See you, Harry.
- Probably.

887
01:05:52,600 --> 01:05:54,680
Off. Off. Come on.

888
01:05:58,880 --> 01:05:59,840
(GROANING)

889
01:06:01,880 --> 01:06:03,600
- I brought you some chicken.
- Thank you.

890
01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:05,240
Thank you.

891
01:06:06,160 --> 01:06:08,400
- How do you feel today?
- Better.

892
01:06:08,800 --> 01:06:11,400
I was able to brush
my own teeth this evening.

893
01:06:11,480 --> 01:06:12,880
Good for you.

894
01:06:15,520 --> 01:06:18,880
- I ran into Harry outside.
- He came back for his car.

895
01:06:19,360 --> 01:06:21,200
That's what he told me.

896
01:06:23,840 --> 01:06:27,640
I hope you realize how much
I appreciate what you're doing for me.

897
01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:29,840
It's perfectly all right. Perfectly all right.

898
01:06:30,080 --> 01:06:32,200
I hope it's not too much
of an inconvenience.

899
01:06:32,320 --> 01:06:33,480
Inconvenience?

900
01:06:33,560 --> 01:06:35,760
To have a full-grown horse
and a half-grown woman

901
01:06:35,840 --> 01:06:37,720
share my one-bedroom house?

902
01:06:38,240 --> 01:06:39,640
You must be kidding.

903
01:06:39,680 --> 01:06:41,600
- What're you going to do?
- I'm going to take a hot shower.

904
01:06:41,640 --> 01:06:43,560
My back's been killing me all day.

905
01:06:47,000 --> 01:06:50,520
Did you have any dinner?
Aren't you hungry?

906
01:06:50,680 --> 01:06:53,600
I had something to eat on the way home.
I just want to get some sleep.

907
01:07:20,280 --> 01:07:22,040
Bernice, was there something
you wanted in here?

908
01:07:22,120 --> 01:07:24,440
- I just came in to get an aspirin.
- Go ahead.

909
01:07:24,640 --> 01:07:25,720
Thank you.

910
01:07:28,080 --> 01:07:29,760
- Got it?
- Yeah.

911
01:07:30,120 --> 01:07:31,240
Good.

912
01:07:34,840 --> 01:07:35,960
Is there something else you want?

913
01:07:36,000 --> 01:07:37,160
Do you want me to scrub
your back for you?

914
01:07:37,240 --> 01:07:38,400
No, that's not necessary. Thank you.

915
01:07:38,480 --> 01:07:40,280
- No, I don't mind. Really I don't.
- It's not necessary.

916
01:07:40,320 --> 01:07:41,760
- Look, Bernice, why don't you go...
- Afraid?

917
01:07:41,840 --> 01:07:43,880
- Of what?
- That you might lose control.

918
01:07:43,960 --> 01:07:45,760
I never lose control.

919
01:07:45,840 --> 01:07:50,000
Okay. Prove that you can allow me
to scrub your back without attacking me.

920
01:07:50,080 --> 01:07:52,400
- You're nuts. Nuts!
- Are you afraid?

921
01:07:52,480 --> 01:07:54,200
- Of course not.
- Fine.

922
01:07:59,680 --> 01:08:00,640
(EX CLAIMS)

923
01:08:00,720 --> 01:08:02,080
My back don't go that far down.

924
01:08:02,160 --> 01:08:04,760
- Beginning to lose control, huh?
- Hell, no.

925
01:08:05,240 --> 01:08:06,280
Watch it!

926
01:08:06,360 --> 01:08:09,560
- You lost control.
- Out. Out. Out.

927
01:08:09,680 --> 01:08:11,440
Get back in your bed.

928
01:08:21,200 --> 01:08:23,280
It's a pity you have
to sleep in the chair again.

929
01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:24,840
I think I'll try the couch tonight.

930
01:08:24,920 --> 01:08:28,400
Perhaps you could sleep in your own bed,
after all. I wouldn't attack you.

931
01:08:28,560 --> 01:08:30,240
I'm much too weak.

932
01:08:30,320 --> 01:08:31,800
Now look, now let's get one thing straight.

933
01:08:31,880 --> 01:08:34,080
You're here because I think
you hurt yourself.

934
01:08:34,680 --> 01:08:37,280
Oh, Greg, of course I did.

935
01:08:37,440 --> 01:08:38,920
Well, I'm not going
to get involved with you.

936
01:08:39,000 --> 01:08:41,400
I'm not going to be just another guy
that you lead around on a leash.

937
01:08:41,600 --> 01:08:44,120
- It wouldn't be that way.
- Oh, no?

938
01:08:44,280 --> 01:08:46,720
Look, I'm a man.
I like to make decisions for myself.

939
01:08:46,800 --> 01:08:49,640
If you ever start thinking like a woman,
you'll understand what that means.

940
01:08:49,880 --> 01:08:51,280
Get some sleep.

941
01:08:52,640 --> 01:08:54,320
- Good night.
- Good night.

942
01:09:04,320 --> 01:09:06,600
(BERNICE GIGGLING)

943
01:09:15,520 --> 01:09:19,400
SALLY: Wake up, sleeping beauty.
It's uncomfortable up here.

944
01:09:23,040 --> 01:09:26,240
What's the matter?
Your girl keep you up all night?

945
01:09:26,400 --> 01:09:28,600
You've got a dirty mind, Sally.

946
01:09:28,960 --> 01:09:31,320
Can I have a sweet roll and coffee, honey?

947
01:09:31,720 --> 01:09:34,440
Hot damn. Hey, I gotta be
at the Music Center in 20 minutes.

948
01:09:34,560 --> 01:09:36,400
Get rid of that stuff
and let's get some shots.

949
01:09:36,480 --> 01:09:39,800
Oh, come on.
I haven't had any breakfast yet.

950
01:09:40,200 --> 01:09:42,280
Please? Come on. Just a little.

951
01:09:43,360 --> 01:09:45,760
Hey, that's great. See you later, kid.

952
01:10:10,800 --> 01:10:11,760
Wow!

953
01:10:38,120 --> 01:10:40,120
(POLICE SIRENS WAILING)

954
01:10:52,720 --> 01:10:53,680
(HONKING)

955
01:11:32,160 --> 01:11:33,400
Thank you.

956
01:11:37,120 --> 01:11:38,360
(CRASHING)

957
01:11:55,280 --> 01:11:56,680
Sorry, folks.

958
01:12:00,040 --> 01:12:01,240
You're terribly late.

959
01:12:01,320 --> 01:12:04,280
I'm afraid we may not be able
to capture the proper mood in this light.

960
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:07,360
- We'll get everything you need.
- Well, I certainly don't see how.

961
01:12:07,440 --> 01:12:09,560
The sun is completely wrong.

962
01:12:09,600 --> 01:12:12,400
Mr. Penlow will be terribly unhappy.

963
01:12:12,600 --> 01:12:16,080
Take this reflector and go stand
behind the table. I need some fill light.

964
01:12:21,600 --> 01:12:23,440
Back up, now, you're in my picture.

965
01:12:24,560 --> 01:12:26,840
More. More.

966
01:12:29,600 --> 01:12:32,480
That's great. Hey, folks, hold it.

967
01:12:32,520 --> 01:12:34,000
Got it. Good.

968
01:12:45,320 --> 01:12:47,800
I hope this is strong enough for you.

969
01:12:52,840 --> 01:12:53,960
It is.

970
01:12:55,240 --> 01:12:57,200
Aren't you going to
an awful lot of trouble?

971
01:12:57,520 --> 01:13:02,240
Well, it's the least I can do for someone
as sweet, kind and generous as yourself.

972
01:13:06,720 --> 01:13:09,480
Dinner'll be ready in about 15 minutes.

973
01:13:11,240 --> 01:13:14,000
In the meanwhile,
how about a little cocktail music?

974
01:13:14,400 --> 01:13:17,200
- Where'd you get that?
- It belonged to my dear mother.

975
01:13:37,560 --> 01:13:40,880
<i>(SINGING ALMOSTIN LOVE)</i></i>

976
01:16:11,120 --> 01:16:13,800
I have a surprise for you.

977
01:16:14,200 --> 01:16:15,680
Harry's coming to dinner?

978
01:16:15,760 --> 01:16:17,840
No. Come on, I'll show you.

979
01:16:27,360 --> 01:16:30,680
Now you can sleep
in your own bed in safety.

980
01:16:51,840 --> 01:16:53,400
What did you do just then?

981
01:16:53,840 --> 01:16:56,160
- Do?
- Yeah, to my ear.

982
01:16:56,760 --> 01:16:59,360
Oh, I just gave it a little sisterly kiss.

983
01:16:59,440 --> 01:17:01,360
That was a sisterly kiss?

984
01:17:02,080 --> 01:17:04,600
- I don't know. Have you ever had a sister?
- No.

985
01:17:04,800 --> 01:17:08,640
Well, neither have I. So how do we know?
Maybe it was a sisterly kiss.

986
01:17:10,240 --> 01:17:11,560
Lights out.

987
01:17:13,600 --> 01:17:15,040
Yes, my lord.

988
01:17:18,760 --> 01:17:19,720
BERNICE: Ouch!

989
01:17:20,160 --> 01:17:22,480
- What's the matter?
- I got a splinter.

990
01:17:23,200 --> 01:17:25,360
That'll teach you not to climb fences.

991
01:17:25,720 --> 01:17:28,000
Will you take the splinter out for me?

992
01:17:28,240 --> 01:17:30,240
Sure. Where is it?

993
01:17:32,440 --> 01:17:33,880
Oh, never mind.

994
01:17:36,360 --> 01:17:37,680
(GREG CHUCKLING)

995
01:17:49,760 --> 01:17:52,040
Good morning, Mr. Penlow.
How are you, sir?

996
01:17:52,120 --> 01:17:54,840
My goodness,
that is a progressive costume.

997
01:17:54,880 --> 01:17:56,600
Did you wish to see Mr. Landsdown?

998
01:17:56,680 --> 01:17:58,560
Yes. Where is the old reprobate?

999
01:17:58,600 --> 01:18:00,000
He's in the studio, watching the new

1000
01:18:00,040 --> 01:18:02,040
center spread being shot
for the next issue.

1001
01:18:02,120 --> 01:18:03,440
Good. Good. I'll talk to him there.

1002
01:18:03,520 --> 01:18:05,920
- Through that door.
- Thanks, pussycat.

1003
01:18:08,320 --> 01:18:10,520
Okay, baby, let's go to work.

1004
01:18:11,600 --> 01:18:12,600
GREG: Oops!

1005
01:18:12,640 --> 01:18:15,640
Hold still. Yeah, that's nice. That's nice.

1006
01:18:17,160 --> 01:18:19,160
Good morning, Landsdown.

1007
01:18:19,200 --> 01:18:21,400
I see you're using Pat.

1008
01:18:21,560 --> 01:18:22,680
PAT: Hi, Lewis.

1009
01:18:22,760 --> 01:18:24,840
Lucky for me I ran into you
the other evening.

1010
01:18:24,920 --> 01:18:26,760
Pat is just perfect
for this spread we're doing.

1011
01:18:26,840 --> 01:18:28,920
Glad I could be of help.

1012
01:18:29,000 --> 01:18:32,520
What brings you to girl country, Lewis?
Doing a little underhanded research?

1013
01:18:32,600 --> 01:18:34,640
As a matter of fact, I need your help.

1014
01:18:34,720 --> 01:18:37,680
We're trying a new approach
in a series of bathing suit ads.

1015
01:18:37,760 --> 01:18:40,080
I'd like you to recommend
a good pin-up photographer.

1016
01:18:40,160 --> 01:18:43,760
Why, that's easy. He's right here.
Greg Nolan, meet Lewis Penlow.

1017
01:18:48,080 --> 01:18:49,240
Good morning, Mr. Penlow.

1018
01:18:49,320 --> 01:18:52,000
Well, if it isn't the young man
with the truth.

1019
01:18:52,320 --> 01:18:55,000
- The truth is, you're fired.
- Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

1020
01:18:55,080 --> 01:18:57,240
That goes for Landsdown Enterprises,
as well.

1021
01:18:57,480 --> 01:19:00,200
You can't fire me.
What have I done wrong?

1022
01:19:00,280 --> 01:19:02,840
- For one thing, you're out of uniform.
- That's not a good enough reason.

1023
01:19:02,880 --> 01:19:03,920
It is for me.

1024
01:19:04,000 --> 01:19:07,480
If you'll excuse me, Nolan, I'm expected
at a fund-raising luncheon within the hour.

1025
01:19:07,520 --> 01:19:09,200
Have you ever known me
to miss a single deadline?

1026
01:19:09,280 --> 01:19:10,720
You said yourself
my pictures were excellent.

1027
01:19:10,800 --> 01:19:13,320
What you've done is the lowest,
crudest, most unprincipled,

1028
01:19:13,520 --> 01:19:14,760
filthiest, dirtiest, crudest...

1029
01:19:14,840 --> 01:19:16,600
- You said "crudest."
...most reprehensible thing

1030
01:19:16,640 --> 01:19:18,080
I've ever heard of in my entire life!

1031
01:19:18,160 --> 01:19:21,440
- Well, how about that.
- Show me a liar, and I'll show thee a thief.

1032
01:19:23,480 --> 01:19:27,160
- Is that your final word on the matter?
- That's my final, cotton-picking word.

1033
01:19:27,280 --> 01:19:29,360
Okay, then. I'll resign.

1034
01:19:29,440 --> 01:19:32,200
Now, wait a minute. You can't resign.
I fired you.

1035
01:19:32,280 --> 01:19:35,320
I'm not giving you the satisfaction
of kicking me out.

1036
01:19:35,600 --> 01:19:38,520
How the hell did you manage
to hold down two jobs at once?

1037
01:19:38,640 --> 01:19:41,520
It wasn't easy.
I just traded off between you.

1038
01:19:41,600 --> 01:19:43,480
A couple hours here, a couple hours there.

1039
01:19:43,560 --> 01:19:45,920
Different lunch hours.
Different coffee breaks.

1040
01:19:46,160 --> 01:19:49,440
I'll be damned. Two full-time jobs.

1041
01:19:49,520 --> 01:19:52,160
That's the sneakiest thing I ever heard of.

1042
01:19:52,320 --> 01:19:53,560
Penlow had a few other names for it.

1043
01:19:53,640 --> 01:19:57,440
Forget Penlow. He's a stuffed shirt.
I like your style, Greg.

1044
01:19:57,480 --> 01:19:59,480
You're full of the old larceny.

1045
01:19:59,520 --> 01:20:01,960
- Thanks, Mike.
- Wish I had 50 more like you, by God.

1046
01:20:02,040 --> 01:20:05,960
You stop by the bookkeeper's desk
and tell her I said to double your salary.

1047
01:20:06,640 --> 01:20:08,320
Tell her yourself.

1048
01:20:12,040 --> 01:20:14,680
By God, I like his spirit.

1049
01:20:15,560 --> 01:20:17,600
Give me a double clam juice.

1050
01:20:19,680 --> 01:20:21,240
Bernice.

1051
01:20:21,280 --> 01:20:23,960
Bernice. Bernice.

1052
01:20:24,040 --> 01:20:26,880
Hi, darling. I was just fixing dinner for you.

1053
01:21:06,280 --> 01:21:07,280
<i>(BERNICE SPEAKING)</i></i>

1054
01:21:49,680 --> 01:21:51,960
How about that? Come on in, man.

1055
01:21:52,000 --> 01:21:54,360
Sit down and take a load off your feet.
Have you had some breakfast?

1056
01:21:54,440 --> 01:21:55,600
Where is she?

1057
01:21:55,800 --> 01:21:58,160
- Who?
- Who the hell do you think I mean?

1058
01:21:58,640 --> 01:22:00,120
It seems to me
she was staying at your place.

1059
01:22:00,200 --> 01:22:02,280
She disappeared.
Either last night or early this morning.

1060
01:22:02,360 --> 01:22:03,560
What do you want her for?

1061
01:22:03,640 --> 01:22:06,200
How the hell do I know?
Maybe I'm in love with her.

1062
01:22:07,200 --> 01:22:08,600
Maybe I want to marry her.

1063
01:22:08,760 --> 01:22:10,480
- You can't do that.
- Why not?

1064
01:22:11,520 --> 01:22:14,400
- All right, I do know where she is.
- Well, then, where is she?

1065
01:22:17,600 --> 01:22:19,000
What does that mean?

1066
01:22:19,040 --> 01:22:21,840
Well, she came here this morning
and asked me to take her back.

1067
01:22:21,920 --> 01:22:24,360
- Said she'd learned her lesson.
- And?

1068
01:22:24,920 --> 01:22:27,040
- And I agreed.
- I don't believe you.

1069
01:22:27,120 --> 01:22:29,720
Jeez. Look, I'm sorry.
It's just one of those things.

1070
01:22:29,800 --> 01:22:31,520
- The best man won.
- I want to talk to her.

1071
01:22:31,600 --> 01:22:34,280
- She said she didn't want to see you.
- You let her tell me that. Bernice!

1072
01:22:34,920 --> 01:22:36,120
Bernice!

1073
01:22:46,640 --> 01:22:47,840
Bernice.

1074
01:22:51,880 --> 01:22:54,120
I'm sorry, Greg. I really am.

1075
01:23:15,000 --> 01:23:15,920
(ALBERT WHIMPERS)

1076
01:23:21,120 --> 01:23:22,920
- Hi.
- Hi.

1077
01:23:23,520 --> 01:23:25,400
Mind if I sit here?

1078
01:23:25,840 --> 01:23:28,760
- On the sand?
- Sure. It's not my sand.

1079
01:23:30,400 --> 01:23:32,000
Why did you run away?

1080
01:23:33,240 --> 01:23:35,120
Harry said you came back to him.

1081
01:23:36,000 --> 01:23:37,480
Harry's full of lemon drops.

1082
01:23:37,560 --> 01:23:40,360
I haven't seen him
since he came to pick up his car.

1083
01:23:40,920 --> 01:23:43,800
Well, if you didn't go back to Harry,
then why did you leave?

1084
01:23:44,400 --> 01:23:46,760
- To think.
- About what?

1085
01:23:48,240 --> 01:23:49,440
Love.

1086
01:23:49,920 --> 01:23:51,520
What did you decide?

1087
01:23:52,680 --> 01:23:56,120
I decided I love you.

1088
01:23:57,320 --> 01:23:58,560
You know something?

1089
01:23:59,080 --> 01:24:00,640
I love you, too.

1090
01:24:04,200 --> 01:24:05,600
What did you feel?

1091
01:24:05,680 --> 01:24:07,840
- Nothing.
- Nothing?

1092
01:24:08,200 --> 01:24:09,680
N-O-T-H...

1093
01:24:09,760 --> 01:24:12,480
- Sic her, Albert!
- Now, wait a minute. That's not fair.

1094
01:24:12,560 --> 01:24:14,360
Go get her. Go get her, Albert. Go!

1095
01:24:14,400 --> 01:24:17,080
Albert! You traitor!

1096
01:24:17,800 --> 01:24:21,400
You can't do this to me! I feed you!

1097
01:24:21,480 --> 01:24:24,600
Albert! Help! I can't swim!

1098
01:24:24,680 --> 01:24:27,160
- I'll never forgive you!
- Come on in, Bernice.

1099
01:24:27,240 --> 01:24:30,800
- It's time to go home.
- I'll meet you halfway.

1100
01:24:31,305 --> 01:25:31,356
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